riddlemethis: (Default)
Edward Nigma ([personal profile] riddlemethis) wrote2012-01-03 01:13 am

Well, so much for that

It turns out that life: it sucks.

I'm done. I'm going to move.

Turns out, no one gives a crap about me. It turns out that people that you think are sweet are liars. Liars that hurt you. That treat you like an object, they use you up and leave you alone. They let you wander in the dark without any memories to be picked up by your worst enemy. This was... terrible.

I hate my life. I hate everything.

And I'm leaving this journal. There's no need to help undesirable people contact me.

I'm done.
fearmaster: (jonny year one)

Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
Edward, don't go. Wait, please.

I waited. I gave you space and time to think. But I didn't expect...

No, let me start over. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to leave you by yourself. I loved you. I love you. But I was ashamed. I hurt you, and I was ashamed. When you went into a coma, I was too ashamed to see you. What right did I have to even see the man I'd scared and hurt? And when you woke up? When you needed me most? I... I wanted to be there for you. But I was afraid. You know who I am, Edward. You know what it means to me to admit that. But I was terrified. I couldn't face you. And I regret that to no end. I wasn't there when you needed me because I was afraid of what you thought of me.

I should have told you right away, about how I felt and what I'd done. But I just thought that somehow I'd gotten a second chance. That I could make things right. Obviously, I was wrong.

But please, Eddie, don't leave. I want to make it up to you. I want to make this right. I don't want to leave you alone any more. I know that I've kept things from you, and I hurt you before, and I haven't been very honest with you.

But I never treated you like an object, Eddie. I never meant to make you feel that way. I... I adore you.

Talk to me, Edward. Please...
fearmaster: (jonny year one)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
I... I don't know what to say. I'm trying so hard to be different from how I used to be. To keep myself in control. I don't ever want to lose control the way I did before. Not when it comes to you.

I'm not talking down to you, Eddie. I... You're right, okay? I'm a coward. I'm a complete coward. I couldn't face you, and because of it I've messed up yet again.

Edward, please. I want to make it up to you somehow. I love you. I need you. I need you to forgive me.

I'd do anything for you. I know I sound desperate, but... I don't want to lose you again.

I know you're angry, but don't say you hate me. I can't stand it...
fearmaster: (scarecrow)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 11:48 am (UTC)(link)
No. I'm not going to leave you alone. I did last time, and I still regret it. I told you before that my... proclivities wouldn't be an issue. But if I'm lying left and right, I may as well break that too. I will follow you. I won't give up until I get you to forgive me. The Scarecrow does not give up.


I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't think that way. And it's not helping my case.

Give me one more chance, Eddie. I never wanted to hurt you. Not before, not now, not ever. You're the one person I never wanted to hurt. And the person I hurt the most. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Edward... Please. One more chance. Come meet with me. I won't hurt you again.
fearmaster: (jonny year one)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 12:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Edward... God, I would talk to you in front of Batman if that's what it would take! I don't mean to be creepy. I didn't mean for any of this to happen...

I just want to talk to you. I will talk in front of Batman, if that would make you feel safe. Even if it means I will go to Arkham afterwards.
fearmaster: (scarecrow)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Then I'm sorry.

But I'm not going to listen.

I'm going to look for you.

I'm not going to lose you. Not again.
fearmaster: (scarecrow)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Do I have any choice? You won't listen to me either way.

And I do love you. Even if you don't believe me. Even if you think I'm a psychopath.

It may just make you think I'm even crazier, but... I assume you've looked me up already. If so, you know how I usually deal with rejection. But I care about you. I want you to care about me. And so I assure you that I have no intention of hurting you...
fearmaster: (jonny year one)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
What? No... No! I'm not threatening you! I'm just saying... That I have no intention of acting as I have in the past. I don't want to hurt you. I won't hurt you! I... I don't know what I intend to do. I just want to be with you.

Do you really think I would even think about raping you?

No, don't answer that. You obviously do.

I'm not a decent person. I've never claimed to be. But I can be. I want to be. I want...

You're not just another person. You'll never be just another person to me. You're beautiful and brilliant and the only person I've ever really... God, Edward, I don't WANT to stalk you. I just want to find a way to make you like me again. I don't want to treat you like an object. I want to treat you like someone I love.

...Don't say you hate me. Please, stop it. I can't stand it.
fearmaster: (jonny year one)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't... I...

I never thought of it that way. I guess... I... You're right. The doctors are right. I'm just a sociopath. Edward...

I'll leave you alone. You won't have to worry about seeing me.


If I give you space, if I leave you alone for a while... Can I see you again? I'll give you time, and space. And... I could use the time, too. To think. Would that be alright? Please, Eddie.
fearmaster: (jonny year one)

Re: Don't Leave

[personal profile] fearmaster 2012-01-03 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not...

I'm sorry. I never meant to treat you badly. I never meant for any of this to happen...

I know it doesn't mean anything to you now, but... I love you. I really love you.

Goodbye, Eddie. I hope I'll see you again.