I waited. I gave you space and time to think. But I didn't expect...
No, let me start over. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to leave you by yourself. I loved you. I love you. But I was ashamed. I hurt you, and I was ashamed. When you went into a coma, I was too ashamed to see you. What right did I have to even see the man I'd scared and hurt? And when you woke up? When you needed me most? I... I wanted to be there for you. But I was afraid. You know who I am, Edward. You know what it means to me to admit that. But I was terrified. I couldn't face you. And I regret that to no end. I wasn't there when you needed me because I was afraid of what you thought of me.
I should have told you right away, about how I felt and what I'd done. But I just thought that somehow I'd gotten a second chance. That I could make things right. Obviously, I was wrong.
But please, Eddie, don't leave. I want to make it up to you. I want to make this right. I don't want to leave you alone any more. I know that I've kept things from you, and I hurt you before, and I haven't been very honest with you.
But I never treated you like an object, Eddie. I never meant to make you feel that way. I... I adore you.
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timeasmymeasure
Don't Leave
Date: 2012-01-03 09:59 am (UTC)I waited. I gave you space and time to think. But I didn't expect...
No, let me start over. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to leave you by yourself. I loved you. I love you. But I was ashamed. I hurt you, and I was ashamed. When you went into a coma, I was too ashamed to see you. What right did I have to even see the man I'd scared and hurt? And when you woke up? When you needed me most? I... I wanted to be there for you. But I was afraid. You know who I am, Edward. You know what it means to me to admit that. But I was terrified. I couldn't face you. And I regret that to no end. I wasn't there when you needed me because I was afraid of what you thought of me.
I should have told you right away, about how I felt and what I'd done. But I just thought that somehow I'd gotten a second chance. That I could make things right. Obviously, I was wrong.
But please, Eddie, don't leave. I want to make it up to you. I want to make this right. I don't want to leave you alone any more. I know that I've kept things from you, and I hurt you before, and I haven't been very honest with you.
But I never treated you like an object, Eddie. I never meant to make you feel that way. I... I adore you.
Talk to me, Edward. Please...